We have an extraordinary history of feminism movements, which changed the image of women in society to a large extent. While some countries still struggle with patriarchy issues, a lot of countries around the world do respect women and their freedom to do anything they want! What about men, though?
Now you might think that men already come under the most privileged section of the society, they have the freedom, opportunity, perspective that is respected by everybody, what do they need?
Where there is freedom, there is responsibility. Just think about every family that wants a boy, why do they want a boy to be born? Not because they are incapable of loving a daughter, but because he is responsible for the whole family after he is born. All the money he is going to earn will come in the house, and family will have somebody as their old age savior. Else, he is the one who will carry the family name forward. Do you think the people who die to have a boy do that because they want to love that kid and care for it? No. It happens because they have a restricted mentality that a boy in the family will take care of the family when he grows up.
THE CHILDHOOD CONDITIONING
The pressure starts building when he might be just ten or eleven. It starts, with good marks in school, then a reputed college, a high paying job, buying a house, getting married, having kids, and it never stops.
Think about the mental state of that kid. And now imagine that kid growing up and subconsciously learning that this is all for he is born.
Everything revolves around earning money. Sometimes the values, principles all get sacrificed because the main thing is money, so why would they think about anything else?
Patriarchy is not ideal for any gender, to be honest.
Now the question is whose fault is that? The answer is the old mentality and more than that this generation’s that continues to believe in so.
THE COMMON BIASES
Another common and most underrated aspect is how a man looks. We would rile up the social media if somebody would ever dare to call a woman ugly or overweight or too skinny or dark-skinned, and you know the trend.
But think about all the times when you disrespect a man when you say I only want tall, dark, and handsome guy! How hypocrite are we? We call men geeks when they work hard for themselves we call them cheap when they don’t pay on the date night we call them ugly when they don’t look like Johny Depp and what not!
Again the saddest part is men ridicule fellow men by saying the most degrading things sometimes. Not everybody can look like a celebrity. You can’t expect perfection from everyone when it comes to looks. If women feel bad when you call them fat, then so do men! If women feel bad when you call them ugly, so do men! Stop the stigma.
The thing is when you call something society’s fault, remember you are it. Change your belief about men before you condemn anybody else.
A TEDx video on YouTube by Dr. Timothy Golden
Yes, not all men are the same. But, majority of them have learned only one thing, and that is – they are responsible for every damn thing in the family, and that is why they are born, and if they don’t fulfill the wishes and dreams, then investing in them was a waste. Stop doing that to small kids. Just let them be what they want to be.
Do check out our previous post on Masculinity And Social Norms.
Next post will be about how men should live in the 21st century.